Where is the hickey?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize