spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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