I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
