Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Randomize
