Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
She needs sedatives and a leash
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
