Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm like, not good at living.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
