Just mADE A PArabola og urine
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Is Oprah even human
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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