How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
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