I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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