wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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