on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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