if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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