Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize