FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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