Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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