Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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