Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
