North Korea, Best Korea!
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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