But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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