I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize