I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
