i just had sex bonerless
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
