Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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