Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
