Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Randomize
