Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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