Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
