It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
