I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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