Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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