im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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