there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
