You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
