Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
