He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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