yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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