it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
