Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
ttyl tear gas
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
you never un-have a 4some
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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