forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
