I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
