No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Randomize
