people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
