I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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