Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
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