i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
