Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
