I wish life had little blips of pornography
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
