Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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