We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize