Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize