chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
