The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
She's just so happy...and so naked.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
