I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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