it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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