Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
