escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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