The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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