now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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