U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
