woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
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