Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm at about main and main street
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize