I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
