I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize