Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
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