Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
The best revenge is premature balding
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize