So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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