Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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