Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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