i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
