You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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