i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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