It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
