That's intense
My hand turned me down
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
