: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
