It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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