It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
