So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
