We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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