I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
