what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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