I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I looked at my own cervix.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
