This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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