May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize