sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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