i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
