Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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