Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
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